Today, we'll talk about how to train your new hubby and make him more obedient.
The key to success in training your spouse is understanding how, and if, his mind works, and then incorporating that with proven training techniques and a few training aids.
Remember, although your spouse does like treats, loves it when you rub his belly, and often chases the mailman down the street, he is not a dog and therefore does not think or react as a dog would. Your spouse does not communicate with you on your level, and you should not think that he does.
He may recognize the word "food" and associate it with coming into the kitchen, but that is only because it is a common action that occurs consistently before his plate appears in front of him..
If you change the verbal word you use to communicate with your spouse along the way, he will no longer understand what you want. Try saying the words "laundry" or "wash the dishes" and you'll see that he has no idea where the food is kept.
It is important that whatever word you choose to gain a specific response, you stay with that same word each time, without altering it in the least.
Also, before you can even begin training your spouse, you must establish what it is that you want him to do. Remember that husbands have an inherent trait to watch television and answer "yep" to everything you ask, including the question, "Does my butt look like a beach ball in these pants?" You must let him know, by your behaviour, that what he is doing is unacceptable.
This is known as spousal reinforcement, (pronounced nagging).
Following are a few tips to help you get the most out of your spouse.
(I) Never compare him to the man down the street. Instead, compare him to your dad or your favorite rich uncle. Point out how he should be more like them.
(II) Be consistent: For example, if you want him to perform a desired task, don't just give up and walk away when he does not perform. Instead, use some type of reinforcement to show him that his behavior was not correct, such as withholding the TV remote, his side of the bed, or yourself.
(III) You should always be the first to initiate AND the first to terminate a conversation with your spouse, rather than the other way round. Otherwise, he might get the idea that he can talk to you whenever he chooses. He might even start telling those long boring "That time I shot me a ten-point white tail buck deer" stories that he talks about with his hunting buddies.
(IV) Avoid giving in to your spouse's every whim. Only prepare a home cooked meal for him on the days of the week that do not end with the letter "Y". Allow him the experience of finding two socks that match or a clean shirt. Don't spoil him with answers whenever he asks where he put something. Allow him to dig up the back yard looking for it. (This will serve as exercise for him)
Reward him only for desired behavior, and never give him something just because he asks for it. In so doing, you will spoil him beyond repair.
(V) When you are spending time with him, tell him funny stories such as how the antibiotics you took caused a yeast infection, or about the gorgeous shoes you bought on sale last week. This will help establish the trust needed to truly set you forth as the wife.
Obedience Training Styles
When you are training your hunny, the key thing is consistency. You need to pick a training style that is suitable for you and your spouse and stick with it.
The two most popular types of obedience training are ball and chain (pronounced wedding band) training; and reward training.
Let me just give you a short overview of these techniques.
In the ball and chain type of training, the ball is used in the beginning as the tool to teach the correct behavior, then once the behavior is learned, the chain is only used to correct unwanted behavior.
A mistake often made by the novice bride with this type of training is that they forget the chain is used only as a tool.
Often a novice bride will abuse the chain to tease the husband. This defeats the purpose of the chain. The chain must be used only to get the spouse to obey. It is used to establish the leadership role between man and woman, but to be successful in training, the man must understand the command with or without the chain. You must also be able to utilize any tool at hand to solicit the correct behavior from your spouse, (such as hissy fits, screaming, pouting and as a last resort, tears,) not just a chain.
Reward training usually incorporates smiles, sex, and/or food rewards or a reward that is associated with getting a bass boat or a new hunting rifle. The associated award could be the command "When does deer season open?". Many wives now use a wink as an associated reward.
A secret to making the reward trained spouse reliable, is working him around distractions in his environment and teaching proper socialization (i.e. bossing him around in front of his hunting buddies)
If you only train your spouse in the house, he will not be used to extra humiliation. The well trained hubby, then exposed to unfamiliar people, may not respond as desired. When reward training, it is important you train both inside and outside your home, to make sure your spouse is exposed to as much humiliation (pronounced hen-pecking) as possible.
Another important tool in communication between you and your hubby is the tone of your voice when delivering a command.
The command "Let's go look at bass boats" will have a more sexy tone. The excitement in your voice will be picked up by the man and he will eventually associate it with the feelings of acceptance for that response to the previous command.
The word "No" will have a more whiny, bossy, or don't-even-think-about-it tone, usually associated with a negative response, such as a stern stamp of the right foot if ball and chain training.
The husband will eventually establish that tone as an indication that he must never again ask to go on a weekend fishing trip, and he will probably mow the lawn and pressure wash the house instead.
As you move on in your training, the tone will be as important to the husband as the command itself.
Also frequently overlooked by the novice bride is body language. Once you get to know your groom better, you will understand his meaning behind specific body motions.
A woman who really understands her man will see even the slightest eye movement in certain situations and understand exactly what it means. This enables the woman to give a command prior to a behavior occurring.
Proper training of your man, and a complete understanding of his behavior is of utmost importance, especially when he finally decides to file for that divorce he's been wanting since week two of the marriage.
This will enable you, as the wife, during the court room proceedings, to understand just exactly what he is willing to give you in the divorce settlement.
Copyright © Leeuna Foster, 2006. All rights reserved. From the book Hangin With the Rednecks
