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Don't forget to attend BlogChurch this Sunday. You will enjoy this week's message.

Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Insulting Parrot

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ''Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the petstore again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!"

The lady was so angy that she went into the store and told the store manager that she would sue the store if it didn't stop insulting her.

The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

The next day, the lady deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot.

"Hey, lady!" the parrot said.

"Yes?" said the lady...

"You know!" said the parrot.

 

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

To all you Peoples who use Fire Fox browser,  I must apologize for the mess I made on this blog yesterday. I re-coded the songs to "Not" play automatically, but I didn't check it to see if it worked the same when using the Firefox browser. (I use Crazy Browser all the time) I checked this morning and Voile! It didn't! 

I just got an awful mix of all the songs playing at once...now how not groovy was that?!!  I felt like I was on a bad acid trip. (Not that I ever dropped acid, mind you...I swear on my favorite tie-dyed tee shirt I never tried acid)

Oh well, at any rate, I am moving the songs into the post comments section below the original post. This way we can still click on them and listen if we want to. 

I hope I haven't run off half of Blogstream with the weird sounding babble coming from their speakers.